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•ALICE'S BLIGHTED PROFESSION. 25 cents, a sketch in x 

act, by Helrn C. Clifford, for 6 or 8 girls, i interior. Time, about 50 minutes. 
A lice, a clientless young lawyer, seeking a stenographer, has several applicants, but 
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17 female characters. Scene, interior of an artist's studio appropriately furnished, » 
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THE IMPORTANCE 
OF PAM 

A COMEDY IN THREE ACTS 



By 
BEULAH KING 

Author of "The Paper Cavalier," "Poor Dear Uncle 
James," "His Sisters," etc. 



Copyright, 1921, by 
Fitzgerald Publishing Corporation 



4? 



Fitzgerald Publishing Corporation 

Successor to 

Dick & Fitzgerald 

18 Vesey Street New York 




3521 
151315 



OCT 181921 
i CI.D 58909 



The Importance of Pam 



CHARACTERS 



Charles Seddon In financial difficulties 

Rachel Seddon His wife 

Janice ") 

Grace > Their daughters 

Pam 3 

Miss Denby (Aunt Aggie) Mrs. Seddon' s sister 

Hugh Davenport A wealthy suitor 

Paul Travers An artist 

Colonel Luke O'Connor Miss Denby 's suitor 

Time. — The present. 

Locality. — Any city. 

Time op Playing. — One and one-half hours. 

COSTUMES AND CHARACTERISTICS 

Charles Seddon, a man of about 60. Wears a dark 
business suit throughout. 

Mrs. Seddon, about 55. Wears a very neat afternoon 
dress. Act II, street costume. Act III, silk dress ; she 
also wears quite an amount of jewelry. 

Janice, a pretty, but vain, girl of about 22. Her 
manner is artificial, Ker talk affected. Wears a neat 
afternoon dress. Act II, street costume. 

Grace, also a pretty girl of about 24, but with the 
same artificial manner as her sister. Wears a pretty 
dress in which there is a pocket containing her poem. 

Pam, a pretty girl of 18, happy and unaffected. 
Wears a traveling suit in Act I. Act II, large percale 

3 



4 The Importance of Pam 

apron over a neat house dress. Act III, afternoon 
dress. 

Miss Denby, about 45. Wears a neat afternoon»dress. 
Act II, street costume. 

Hugh Davenport, a wealthy young man of about 30. 
Wears street clothes. 

Paul Travers, an artist of about 30. Wears a busi- 
ness suit. 

Colonel Luke O'Connor, a jolly man of about 52. 
Wears business suit. 

INCIDENTAL PROPERTIES 

Landscape scene, familiarly known as a daub, for 
Janice. 

Bundle of poems in manuscript form for Grace. 

Cardboard box filled with odds and ends of material, 
telegram and a large lantern for Pam. 

STAGE DIRECTIONS 

As seen by a performer on the stage facing the audi- 
ence, R. means right hand; L., left hand; d. c, door at 
center; d. r., door at right, up, toward back of stage; 
down, toward footlights. 



The Importance of Pam 



ACT I 

SCENE. — Living-room at the Seddon's. Time, after- 
noon of a winter's day. In the rear wall c, a door 
leading into the library. A door at r. leading into 
the front hall. In l. wall are windows overlooking 
the avenue. Curtains on windows. To r. and l. of 
d. c. are tip-back tables set with brass candlesticks. 
To r. of d. r., a grandfather's clock, down stage r., 
a luxurious davenport facing the audience, and be- 
side it a small gate-leg table with a low lamp. The 
chairs are Chippendales. Color scheme is red. 
DISCOVERED Mrs. Seddon in chair by the 
reading-table; Mr. Seddon pacing the floor, and 
Miss Denby on davenport. 

Mrs. Seddon (with some asperity). My dear Charles, 
you cannot deny the remarkable talents of Janice and 
Grace. 

Mr. Seddon (very politely). I'm not denying them, 
Eachel. I'm speaking of Pam's — er — rather nice way. 

Mrs. S. But Pam is so ordinary. She's a Seddon 
through and through. Now, take Janice, for instance. 
She's all the world like my people, isn't she, Aggie? 

Miss Denby. All the world. 

Mrs. S. The Denbys were all talented — every one. 
But Pam hasn't a spark of talent. As I said before, 
she 's very ordinary except in looks. 

Mr. S. She has been called pretty, Eachel. 

Miss D. (with reproach). Oh, Charles. 

Mr. S. (stubbornly) . She has been called pretty. 

5 



6 The Importance of Pam 

Mrs. S. (driven to it). Don't notice him, Aggie. 

Mr. S. And she has done well at school. I'm sorry, 
mighty sorry, she has to leave. 

Mrs. S. Of course you are, and so am I. But if you 
had taken my advice about a few things we should not 
now be reduced to a mere existence. 

Mr. S. There, there, Rachel, we won't go into that 
matter again. It's painful for Aggie, I'm sure. 

Miss D. (beginning to weep). Oh, don't think of me. 

Mrs. S. (with irritation). For goodness' sake, Aggie, 
don't begin to sniffle. I know you miss your afternoon 
tea, but as I said before, if you want it badly enough to 
go out in the kitchen and make it, you are welcome to it. 
You can't expect one servant in a family of five to do 
everything and wait on you besides. 

Miss D. I'm sure, Rachel, I think you're unkind. 
You know I don't want anyone to wait on me — ever. 

Mrs. S. (impatiently) . Oh dear, if it weren't for the 
hopes I have in Janice and Grace, I believe I should 
give up altogether, but I have set my heart on seeing 
them make brilliant matches and have a career, and that 
alone keeps me up. 

Mr. S. That is quite enough, mother. 

Mrs. S. I haven't a doubt but Hugh Davenport will 
many Grace before the year is out. 

Mr. S. (really surprised). What! 

Mrs. S. (snappily) . Of course. Hasn't he been com- 
ing here twice a week for the last six months? 

Mr. S. I don't know as that signifies anything. The 
Colonel has been coming here to see Aggie twice a week 
for the past six years and nothing has developed. 

Mrs. S. (reproachfully). Charles! (She looks to- 
ward Aggie fearfully). Then Paul Travers would be 
just the one for Janice. It would be a wonderful match. 

Mr. S. (aghast). Paul Travers? The Paul Travers? 

Mrs. S. Urn, I guess you don't know it all. 

Mr. S. But he has never been here. 

Mrs. S. Perhaps not, but there are other places for 
them to meet. 



The Importance of Pam 7 

Mr, S. What do you mean ? 

Mrs. S. Oh, y u needn't be alarmed. Janice would 
never do anything that wasn't right. I was referring 
to the tea given at the clubhouse the other afternoon. 
He was there and so was she, and what is more, he 
didn't take his eyes off her the whole time. (Waiting 
for that to sink in) Then the other night at the Leslies' 
he was simply devoted to her the whole evening. 

Mr. S. (with misgivings). Has he ever seen any of 
her work ? 

Mrs. S. I believe not. 

Mr. S. Ah! 

Mrs. S. (scoring again). From all appearances they 
weren 't talking art. 

Mr. S. Heavens, mother. (He chuckles) 

Mrs. S. (as if a stranger were present). Yes, we de- 
pend wholly upon our two eldest daughters. By their 
talents and their brilliant matches 

Mr. S. (flippantly). We shall be saved from wearing 
patches! (Miss Denby giggles and Mrs. Seddon looks 
annoyed) By the way, just when does Pam arrive? 

Mrs. S. At five. I believe. Some one ought to meet 
her. She'll have a suitcase. 

Miss D. (foolishly). Poor child, let me. 

Mrs. S. Don't be ridiculous, Aggie. I suppose 
Grace could get Hugh to go down in his car for her. 

Mr, S. (with finality). I'm going to meet her. It 
isn 't necessary for anyone else to go. 

Mrs. S. (brightening at the thought). But it would 
be so nice to have Hugh go. 

Mr. S. Yes, I admit it would look nicer to spin away 
in that roadster of his, but nevertheless, isn't it asking 
too much of him? He really isn't a member of the 
family yet, you know. 

Mrs. S. But he soon will be. 

Mr. S. I'm glad, Rachel, you are so optimistic about 
this thing. It's the first thing you were ever optimistic 
about. 

Mrs. S. I have faith in Grace's charms. 



8 The Importance of Pam 

Mr. S. Well, she ought to be attractive. She has 
had every advantage. 

Mrs. S. And after she marries Hugh, she will have 
more. 

Mr. S. (reviewing) . She has had private tutors, been 
to boarding-school, college, studied abroad, taken post 
graduate courses, while Pam — poor child 

Mrs. S. Charles, I don't think you need worry about 
Pam feeling bad over the lack of an education. She 
isn't that kind — distinctly she isn't that kind. 

Mr. S. No — thank heaven. 

Mrs. S. I should think you would be ashamed to talk 
as you do, Charles. Any other man would be proud of 
two such talented daughters. 

Miss D. (suddenly) . Yes, I'm sure the Colonel would. 

Mrs. S. Didn't you say yourself that you depended 
on them to rescue us from our poverty ? 

Mr. S. I did, Rachel. 

Mrs. S. Didn't you tell Grace her first published 
book of poems ought to bring in thousands? 

Mr. S. I did, Rachel. 

Miss D. And Janice's pictures! My dear Charles, 
you cannot deny that they are unusual. 

Mr. S. True, Aggie, they are unusual. 

Miss D. And to be admired by such a painter as 
Paul Travers. Handsome, of excellent family and a 
genius ! Ah ! 

Mrs. S. It's time you were waked up, Charles. You 
are exasperating. 

Mr. S. (wiiJi a twinkle). I know, Rachel, you've had 
no use for me since I lost my money, but never mind, 
dear, we'll soon be rich again and basking in fame. 

Miss D. Basking in fame. Ah. 

Mr. S. You, Aggie, will be serving tea to the great 
and famous, and Rachel here will have her hands full 
warding off the hero worshippers. Oh, I see it all and 
heaven speed the day. 

Mrs. S. The Denbys.are accustomed to fame. 

Mr. S. Oh, I know it. They thrive on it. I shall be 



The Importance of Pam 9 

the awkward one and lonely, too, unless Pam comes over 
to my side. 

ENTER Janice d. r., carrying a landscape scene, which 
she has just finished. It is what is familiarly 
known as a daub. Her manner is artificial, her 
talk affected. 

Mrs. S. Oli, here you are, dearie. 

Janice {holding forth her masterpiece). It's fin- 
ished. (Aunt Aggie runs toward her and Mr. Seddon 
surveys it from afar) 

Mrs. S. My dear, it is wonderful ! Divine ! 

Janice. I finished it this morning and I '11 send it to 
Mr. Wright to-morrow. 

Mr. S. Do you think — that is, are you quite sure, my 
dear, he will accept it? 

Janice. Papa ! 

Miss D. My dear Charles! 

Mrs. S. Don't notice him. Your father never did 
have an eye for beauty. 

Mr. S. Rather fortunate for you, my dear, that I 
didn't. (Aggie giggles) 

Mrs. S. That isn't funny, Aggie — not a bit. Janice, 
bring it here and let me examine it. 

Janice. Oh no, mother, you're not supposed to look 
at it close to. 

Mr. S. Of course not,, mother, I could have told you 
that. The farther away from it the better. 

Janice (standing at the back of the room). I'll hold 
it up in this light. There. (She holds it for all to see) 

Mrs. S. (rising). Divine! I do hope Mr. Wright 
will give it a prominent place. 

Mr. S. But what if he refuses it? Just a supposi- 
tion, my dear. 

Janice. Oh, papa, you're so stupid. He won't. He 
can't. It's too good. Why, I expect it to take the prize. 

Mr. S. What does Travers think of it? 

Janice (going down stage). I haven't let him see it. 
He's solely a portrait painter. 



10 The Importance of Pam 

Mr. S: Oh, that isn't a portrait? 

Janice (flopping on the davenport) . Papa! 

Mr. S. (floundering). I thought it was the head of 
a young girl. 

Janice (wearily). It's a rose garden. 

Miss D. Of course, Charles, a rose garden. 

Mr. S. (looking at the picture). You don't say. 
What kind of roses? 

Janice (thoroughly disgusted) . As if that mattered. 

Mr. S. I 'm glad I know it 's a rose garden. By Jove, 
if anyone had asked me at the exhibition 

Janice. I think, papa, you had better stay home 
from the exhibition. 

Mrs. S. My dear child, never. (Pacing back and 
forth) It wouldn't look well, you know. He'll come 
with me, of course. But he needn't talk any. 

Mr. S. (at the back of the davenport) . I'll endeavor 
to look intelligent for your sake, Rachel. (Aggie gig- 
gles) 

Mrs. S. (nervously) . Aggie, what is the matter with 
you? You are positively hysterical to-day. 

Janice. I want it to hang on the left-hand wall as 
you enter about in the center. 

Mrs. S. (stopping in her peregrinations to close her 
eyes and visualize). Left-hand wall — as you enter — 
about in the center — yes— um-um an excellent place. 

Janice. The light there is just right. (Gazing at 
her picture) I wish Monsieur Duval could see it. 

Mrs. S. (going down to the davenport) . Ah, my love, 
he would think that his prophecy had come true. (To 
Charles) Monsieur Duval — if you remember — had 
great hopes of Janice. 

Mr. S. Duval was a sanguine sort. 

Janice. I wish I could go back to him for a term. 
(Impatiently) Oh, it's so degrading to be poor. 

Mrs. S. Isn't it? 

Janice. I wish I had already amassed my fortune 
and Grace had here. We'd do the most marvelous 
things for you all. Aunt Aggie should have a diamond 



The Importance of Pam 11 

teacup (Mr. Seddon groans, but no one notices 

Mm. Their heads are in the clouds) 

Miss D. There, there, my dear, I'm sure I wouldn't 
be so selfish as to expect a diamond teacup even if we 
were worth a milliom 

Mr. S. Speaking of teacups — who is to get supper 
to-night? Flora's night out. 

Janice. Just like papa thinking of supper when 
we're talking art. 

Mr. S. My dear child, we've got to eat. If it hadn't 
been for a piece of bread Hamlet would never have been 
written. Besides your sister Pain's due for supper. 

Janice. Pam coming? 

Mrs. S. At five, dearie. 

Mr. S. (to Janice). I think you ought to get her an 
excellent supper. She hasn 't been home for six months, 
you know. 

Janice. Oh, bother, I was going over to the studio. 
(Mrs. Seddon looks significantly at Mr. Seddon) Mr. 
Travers has invited me to see a picture of his. 

Mrs. S. Certainly, my dear, go. Aggie and I will 
get supper. 

Janice (rising). Thank you, mother. You're al- 
ways so thoughtful. What do you think of my asking 
Mr. Travers back for supper? 

Mrs. S. (hesitant). It would be rather awkward 
about clearing off the table and washing the dishes. 
You know Flora's off. 

Janice. Pam could do that. (Mr. Seddon turns and 
looks at her sharply) Well, no matter, I won't to-night. 

Mrs. S. Next week we'll have him, dearie. (EXIT 
Janice d. r. with picture) A wonderful girl, and that 
picture! (More to herself) I'll have him over soon. 

ENTER Grace, d. r. She runs straight to Tier mother 
and sits beside her on the davenport. 

Grace. Mother, I've just had the divinest inspira- 
tion ! 
Mr. S. Tell us, my dear, where did you get it? 



12 The Importance of Pam 

Mrs. S. Charles, isn't it time for you to be leaving? 

Mr. S. Sorry, Rachel, but I've twenty minutes yet. 
(She closes her eyes and sighs) 

Grace. Who's coming, mother? 

Mr. S. Your dear sister, Pam. t 

Grace. Pam? But I thought she was to spend the 
winter with Aunt Betsey. 

Mrs. S. She has decided we need her at home. 

Grace. Yes, I suppose we do. Janice and I have so 
little time for housework. — But you haven't heard what 
I have to tell you. It's about my poem — the last one 
that makes up the book. I am to send them all to the 
publisher to-morrow. 

Mr. S. Great things are to happen to-morrow. 

Grace (taking a paper from the pocket of her smock). 
Listen. I'll read it to you. (Mrs. Seddon sits up, Miss 
Denby bends forward eagerly and Mr. Seddon stops 
short in his walk) 

Grace. I've called it The Green Petticoat 

(She reads) 

I saw a petticoat — a green petticoat 
It lay on the chair — crumpled! 
The sun fell on it and showed it as it was — 
all crushed — 
In an emerald heap ! 
The shadows crept in, black and silent 

And made ridges — small sinuous ridges. 
The high lights, the shadows and the mass 
of green! 

Miss D. (rolling her eyes). Divine! 

Mrs. S. Grace, it's the best of them all. I'm so 
proud. 

Grace. I wrote it in less than an hour. I was sitting 
in my bedroom and my glance happened to fall on my 
green petticoat that I had left in the chair. The sun's 
rays struck it obliquely and it shimmered gloriously. 



The Importance of Pam 13 

(Mr. Seddon groans softly) Then the inspiration 
came. 

Mr. S. Ah, my dear, you are not the first one to 
receive an inspiration from a petticoat. 

Mrs. S. Charles, you are not in sympathy. 

Mr. S. You wrong me, Rachel. I have always been 
in sympathy with a petticoat. (Aggie giggles) 

Grace. Papa is so stupid. 

Mrs. S. (exasperated beyond control). Aggie, I think 
a cup of tea is absolutely necessary for the steadying of 
your nerves. 

Miss D. (rising and going to d. a). I'm afraid it is, 
Rachel. You'll excuse me. [EXIT 

Mrs. S. (bitterly). She's upset because the Colonel 
doesn't propose. That's what's the matter with her. 
Nothing else. 

Mr. S. (to Grace). How much do you expect to get 
from your volume, Grace? 

Grace. The royalties ought to bring me thousands. 

Mr. S. Ah, she talks in thousands. 
. Mrs. S. (flinging her arms about her daughter). My 
darling, my darling. You are really a Denby, a really 
truly Denby! We shall be rich again in spite of your 
father 's foolishness. 

Grace. The family fortunes retrieved. We shall be 
living in luxury. 

Mr. S. But until that time — patience and Pam! 

Mrs. S. (to Grace). How soon do you think you will 
hear from the publishers, dear? 

Grace. Oh, by next week. I am going to get them 
off to-day. 

Mr. S. Next week! Ah, and then we shall live 
again. 

Grace. Won't it be wonderful? Janice in the exhi- 
bition with a chance for the prize. 

Mr. S. Prize? Is there a prize involved? 

Mrs. S. Charles, is it possible you don't know there 
is a twenty-five thousand dollar prize, after all we have 
said? Charles, you don't take things in. 



14 The Importance of Pam 

Mr. S. Strange, but you'd have thought I'd take 
that in. (Bell rings) 

Grace (rising). It's Hugh. 

Mrs. S. My dear, don't ask him to tea. It's Thurs- 
day night. [EXIT Grace d. r. 

Mrs. S. (with a smirk of satis factioyi) . He's in love 
with Grace — there 's not a doubt of it. 

Mr. S. Ah, that's good. I think, my dear, we had 
better bank our hopes on his fortune rather than on — 
er — Grace's poetry. 

Mrs. S. Charles, you are sordid. 

Mr. S. I have to be. I'm the anchor that holds the 
balloon you are all floating about in. 

Mrs. S. (to herself with satisfaction). Grace and 
Janice. Janice and Grace 

Mr. S. And poor little Pam! 

ENTER Grace d. r., followed by Hugh Davenport. 

Mr. S. (heartily). Ah, my boy, all ready for a game? 
(Mrs. Seddon rises simpering and offers her hand, which 
Hugh shakes) 

Grace (very affected). Now, papa, he didn't come 
for a game. 

Mr, S. I'm not so sure of that, eh, boy? However, 
I shall have to disappoint you. (Looking at his watch) 
I 'm going to the train to meet my daughter. 

Hugh. Your daughter? (Mrs. Seddon shows im- 
patience) 

Mr, S. Um-um. Didn't know I had a third daugh- 
ter, did you? 

Hugh (to Grace). You never mentioned her. 

Grace. No ? 

Mr. S. Best of the lot. 

Mrs. S. (reseating herself in the easy-chair). 
Charles ! 

Mr. S. (to Hugh). Well, I won't tell you what I 
think of her. I'll let you decide for yourself. 

[EXIT d. c. 



The Importance of Pam 15 

Mrs. S. (with evident relief). Do sit down, Mr. 
Davenport. 

Hugh (sitting). Thank you. 

Mrs. S. It's so good to see you. 

Hugh. It's mighty nice of you to say so. I'd 
be desperately lonely if it weren't for your hospital- 
ity. 

Mrs. S. (with a little too much emphasis).* My dear 
boy, you're always welcome. (She rises. He rises) 
You'll excuse me, you two, I know. 

Grace. Of course, mother. (EXIT Mrs. Seddon d. r. 
Hugh sits and Grace perches on the arm of the daven- 
port) 

Hugh. I had a great game at the club the other 
night with your father. Did he tell you? 

Grace. He never tells me anything. 

Hugh. Really? He's a mighty genial sort. 

Grace. Papa is so ordinary. 

Hugh. Eh? 

Grace. Papa is so ordinary. We have nothing in 
common, absolutely. 

Hugh. That's a shame. A mighty good sort — your 
father. 

Grace (dismissing the subject). I suppose so. 

Hugh. I liked him the moment I saw him. Genuine, 
and all that. 

Grace. Oh yes, I dare say. He's genuine all right. 
But he's not a kindred spirit at all. 

Hugh (puzzled). A kindred spirit? 

Grace. That is — he doesn't like the things the rest 
of us like. 

Hugh. But 

Grace. He hasn't a bit of use for the arts. In fact 
papa makes fun of them, if you can imagine such igno- 
rance. 

Hugh. That's funny. He told me his favorite pic- 
ture was Titian's "Man With a Glove." That's con- 
sidered rather fine, isn't it? 

Grace (her nose in the air). Old style though. 



16 The Importance of Pam 

Hugh (humbly). Really? I hadn't thought of it in 
that way. 

Grace. No, you wouldn't. 

Hugh. So you rank me with your father. 

Grace. It's not your fault. 

Hugh. Not my fault for being stupid, eh? 

Grace. I think I shall give you a course this winter. 

Hugh. J'm awfully stupid. You don't know what 
you're undertaking. I'm stubborn, too, and hard to 
convince. 

Grace. I think I can convince you of lots of things. 

Hugh. What -for instance ? 

Grace. Oh, well, how nice the new art is. (Voices 
without in the hall) 

Hugh. Yes — go on. 

Grace. Oh bother, they're coming back. 

Hugh. Who? 

Grace. The family. 

Hugh. Your sister? 

Grace. No. Janice has gone to the studio. 

Hugh. I meant your other sister, the one I just heard 
of to-day. 

Grace. Oh, Pam ? No, it isn 't time for her. Besides 
she wouldn't come in here if I were talking to you. 

Hugh. You mean? 

Grace. She knows the conversation would be beyond 
her. Pam's ordinary, too. 

Hugh. Like your father and me. 

Grace. Imagine it. She likes housework. She likes, 
actually likes, to cook and sew. 

Hugh. It's well some of us do. 

ENTER d. r. Aunt Aggie, Mrs. Seddon and Colonel 
'Connor. 

Colonel (heartily). Hulloa, hulloa. Here's young 
Davenport again. 

Hugh (going to him). Howdy, sir? (They shake 
hands) 

Colonel. Fine, and how do you find yourself? 



The Importance of Pam 17 

Hugh. Fairly happy. Thanks to Mrs. Seddon, who 
allows me all the privileges of a family friend. 

Mrs. S. The dear boy just dotes on us, and I 'm sure 
I'm delighted to have him. 

Colonel (ivho loves to embarrass). He surely dotes 
on one of you. (Glancing at Grace) Ha-ha-ha! 

Mrs. S. (simpering). Oh, Colonel. (All sit) 

Miss D. (with the pent up wrong of six years). I 
hope he Realizes it and doesn 't keep her waiting six 
years. 

Mrs. S. (truly horrified). Aggie. 

Colonel (to Hugh). Bide your time, young man. 

Miss D. (bitterly). But don't bide it until all the 
romance has gone out of your life. 

Mrs. S. Hush, Aggie. 

Miss D. I will, now that I've had my say. I've 
never had the opportunity before. 

Hugh (who has taken it all lightly). I think I like 
the lady's advice better, sir. 

Colonel. I expected you would. Always side with 
the ladies, boy. It's both chivalrous and wise. (Hugh 
goes to the window) 

Mrs. S. (foolishly). Oh, Colonel, you have such a 
repertory of quaint thoughts. 

Colonel (to Hugh). Let's see, young man, you're 
one of those unfortunate individuals who have plenty 
of money. Tell us now, you surely aren't going to keep 
it. It isn't healthy for one man to have so much money. 

Hugh (with a twinkle). I shall give it to my wife 
to do with what she likes. 

Mrs. S. There, isn't that lovely? He's going to give 
it to his wife. 

Colonel. Tut, his wife can't spend all that. 

Mrs. S. Oh, yes she can. 

Colonel. What? Her clothes could never eat up 
her income, even. 

Mrs. S. (regarding Grace). Some girls have other 
uses for money besides clothes. Not all girls are frivo- 
lous. 



18 The Importance of Pam 

Colonel. Ah, that's true. I had forgotten Aggie. 

Miss D. If you're being sarcastic, it's wasted here. 

Hugh (at the window). Your father is coming 
and 

Grace (going over to the window). Pam? 

Hugh. I don't know whether it's Pam but a mighty 
nice looking girl's with him. 

Colonel. Pam? Pam coming? Little Pam. Good 
lord, I haven 't seen the child since she wore kilties. 

Miss D. (spitefully). Your own fault. 

Grace. Oh, I'm so glad she's come. 

Hugh. You must be. She looks jolly. 

Grace. No more dish washing. A whole winter de- 
voted to art. 

Mrs. S. And pleasure, I hope. 

ENTER d. r. Mr. Seddon and Pam. 

Pam (running to her mother). Mummy dear. 

Mrs. S. Home at last. (She kisses her, but not 
heartily) 

Pam. And I'm so glad. 

Mr. S. She don't know how much her old daddy's 
missed her. (Pam kisses Grace and Aunt Aggie and 
turns to the men shyly) 

Grace. Miss Seddon— Mr. Davenport. (Pam bows 
stiffly) And Colonel O'Connor. 

Colonel (who has been dazed by the sight of her). 
Saints alive, the child 's a beauty ! 

Miss D. Isn't that just like him! 

Mrs. S. (to Hugh). Pam's always been away from 
home more or less. 

Mr. S. But she isn't to be any more and I here give 
Avarning that no young upstart is to take her away from 
her dad. (All laugh) 

Hugh. I say that's unfair. 

Colonel. Deucedly selfish of you, Charles, deucedly. 

Pam (laughing). Dad isn't selfish. Besides, I want 
to stay with him. 



The Importance of Pam 19 

Mr. S. Um-um, now you can't but say I'm the luck- 
iest man in the room. 

Grace. Seems to me there's an awful fuss made over 
Pam all of a sudden. 

Hugh. I think, Colonel, we'd better be off. I'm 
sure Miss Pam wants to be rid of us. 

Grace. Oh, don't go. 

Hugh (to Colonel). Are you going my way? 
(With a twinkle) If you are I'll lend you an arm. 

Colonel. Tut, young man. More like I'll lend you 
mine. 

Hugh (shaking hands with Mrs. Seddon). I'm sure 
you want your family to yourself. 

Mrs. S. But you'll come again and soon? 

Hugh. That's understood, as long as you'll have me. 
(Nods to others) 

Colonel (rising). I don't see but what I've got to go 
with that young Jackanapes or else appear rude, but I 
don't want to go a bit. (His eyes on Pam) Never 
wanted to stay more in my life. Good-bye. (He fol- 
lows Hugh to d. r.) 

[EXIT Colonel, Hugh and Mr. Seddon 

Pam (to the ensemble). Isn't he wonderful — that 
Mr. Davenport. 

Mrs. S. He's quite devoted to your sister. 

Pam. To Grace? 

Mrs. S. Yes, isn't it fine? My dear, he's worth 
millions. 

Miss D. Think what that means to us. 

Pam. I suppose we are quite poor. Dad says we've 
got to cut down awfully. 

Grace. Ugh, I'm so sick of this talk I won't listen 
to it. It's degrading. [EXIT d. c, flaunting out 

ENTER Mr. Seddon d. r. 

Mrs. S. The poor child. She has such a highly 
organized nervous system. 
Mr. S. Um, a shame. 
Pam. I'm sorry if I said anything I shouldn't have. 



20 The Importance of Pam 

Mr. S. You didn't, dear. That's what it is to be 
artistic. 

Pam. I was just going to suggest that we discharge 
the cook. I don't mind the work and it would help out 
with the finances. 

Miss D. Isn't that sweet of her, and I could wipe 
the dishes some days. 

Mr. S. No, my child, I won't have you imposed 
upon. 

Pam. Listen, dad, I won't be imposed upon. I 
rather think I'll enjoy it — messing about and mixing 
dishes for you all. Anyway, by the time I get tired of 
it Janice and Grace will have made their fortunes and 
we'll be on Easy Street again. Don't you see? 

Mrs. S. Ah, yes, of course. Janice and Grace. 

Pam. You will let me, won't you, dad? 

Mr, S. (whimsically) . I'm afraid I shall have to, my 
dear. To tell the truth the cook hasn't been paid for 
four weeks. 

Pam (reproachfully). Pa. 

Mrs. S. (angrily). Come, Aggie, this sort of talk is 
disgusting and quite unnecessary. (Sweeps toward 
d. c, followed by Aggie) 

[EXIT d. c. Mrs. Seddon and Aggie 

Mr. S. (flopping into a chair). Your mother doesn't 
love me any more than she ever did, my dear. 

Pam. Oh, yes she does. Once she was coldly indif- 
ferent and now she gets riled. Are things so bad, pa ? 

Mr. S. Pretty bad and the trouble is I can't get 
them to face the facts. Janice and Grace should go to 
work. 

Pam (genuinely horrified). Janice and Grace go to 
work? Why, dad, they're talented. 

Mr, S. Ah, yes, I had quite forgotten. They're 
talented. But what about Grace marrying this young 
Davenport? According to your mother he's in love with 
her. 

Pam (thoughtfully). What do you think? 

Mr. S. It doesn't matter what I think. 



The Importance of Pam 21 

Pam. It does with me, pa. Do you think he's in love 
with her? 

Mr. S. No. 

Pam. Grace is very lovely. 

Mr. S. So are you, my dear. 

Pam. Oh, no. (Pause) Pa? 

Mr. S. Yes? 

Pam. Does dishwater make one's hands awfully 
ugly? I mean if they scrub pans. 

Mr. S. They do say so. (Amused) You're not 
sorry for what you promised just now ? 

Pam. Oh, no, I shall stick to what I said but I shall 
try every means in my power to make the work easy. 

Mr. S. (taking one of her hands). They're very nice 
hands. 

Pam. Oh no, they're not. The fingers aren't espe- 
cially long or tapering. They 're not artistic hands. I 'm 
sure I shall never bring any fame or fortune to the 
family. 

Mrs. S. (voice from above). Pam dear, aren't you 
going to start supper? 

Pam. Yes, mother. (She goes to d. c.) 

Mr. S. Alas, one must eat if one does write poems 
and paint pictures. 

Pam. Now, pa, you've got to be nice or I shall put 
pepper in your soup and mustard in your hash. Re- 
member. [EXIT d. c. as curiam falls 



CURTAIN 



22 The Importance of Pam 



ACT II 

SCENE. — Same as Act I. Time, one week later; after- 
noon. DISCOVERED Pam, crossing the stage 
toward d. r. She carries a small cardboard box 
filled with odds and ends of materials and wears a 
large percale aprori. Just as she reaches d. r. Miss 
Denby ENTERS and waylays her. Miss Denby 
is dressed to go out, and is evidently much wrought 
up. 

Miss D. There! Here you are! Where have you 
been? (Pam disconcerted, puts the box behind her. 
Immediately Aunt Aggie is suspicious) You weren't 
in your room! 

Pam (desperately). No — I was in the garret. 

Miss D. In the garret! 

Pam. Looking over some old things. 

Miss D. (slyly). And thought you'd bring a few of 
them down. I see. (Eyeing the box suspiciously) 
Well, don't try to explain, child, don't try to explain! 
I suppose it's nothing more harmful than a few love 
letters. 

Pam (her honesty getting the best of her). Oh, no, 
it's not love letters. I never had a love letter in my life. 
(Holding forth the box) It's only a few pieces of old 
cloth — odds and ends. 

Miss D. (astonished) . You're not going in for patch- 
work? (Goes down c.) 

Pam. Oh, no! I — I, that is, if you don't mind I'd 
rather not say anything more about it. 

Miss D. Um-um! You're very mysterious! (Turn- 
ing about and regarding Pam earnestly) There's some- 
thing uncanny about you of late — something I don't 
like. (Suddenly) What were you and Paul Travers 
talking about last night? 

Pam (astonisJied) . Why, Aunt Aggie, what do you 
mean ? 



The Importance of Pam 23 

Miss D. Come here! 

Pam (with dignity). I will — if you stop talking to 
me in such a manner. I consider it very unfair of 
you. 

Miss D. I am never unfair. I pride myself on my 
keen sense of justice. 

Pam (going down a). Then why do you talk to me 
like this! 

Miss D. (driven to it). Because you have bewitched 
Paul T ravers. 

Pam (aghast). Aunt Aggie! 

Miss D. (losing her head). He's in love with you and 
so is Hugh Davenport (With a sob) and I fear for the 
Colonel. 

Pam (with genuine concern). Good heavens, Aunt 
Aggie ! You have let your imagination run away with 
you. 

Miss D. (between sobs). Your mother says so. She 
says they will both want to marry you and you will re- 
fuse because you have promised your father you will 
stay with him and Grace and Janice will lose them and 
■ — oh ! perhaps I shall lose the Colonel. 

Pam (stamping her foot). Oh! Of all nonsense! 
Just because Paul Travers wants to paint my picture 
do you think he is in love with me? 

Miss D. (fairly shrieking). He wants to paint your 
picture ! 

Pam. Yes, but I am not foolish enough to suppose 
he is in love with me. 

Miss D. (pointing to the box, light breaking). A-ah! 
And you are taking those odds and ends of cloth to him 
to let him decide what you shall wear! (Pam is flab- 
bergasted) You have bewitched him! And you will 
bewitch the Colonel! 

Pam (shaking her). Aunt Aggie, stop it! Stop it, 
this minute ! 

Miss D. You are a Circe ! 

Pam. Hush ! 

Miss D. (straightening her hat). I shall go to the 



24 The Importance of Pam 

Colonel now ! Yes, I shall go to his apartments to warn 
him against you! 

Pam (weakly). Good heavens, what have I done to 
deserve all this ? 

Miss D. (going to d. r.). I am going. 

Pam. Very well. I suppose I can't stop you! 

Miss D. (suspiciously) . I suppose you have planned 
some clandestine meeting. 

Pam (sarcastically). Oh, yes, I have. Out in the 
kitchen by the sink where I hold most of my rendezvous. 

Miss D. You're a saucy child! [EXIT d. r. 

Pam (flopping into chair). Of all things! (Sits dis- 
consolate, fingering tlie pieces of cloth. Front door 
slams. ENTER d. c. Janice dressed to go out. Pam 
puts the box under her apron) 

Janice (going down stage). I'm going over to the 
museum, Pam. Mr. Wright has sent for me. 

Pam (with some alarm). There's nothing wrong 
with your picture? He — he is going to accept it, of 
course. 

Janice (with a superior air). I think there is no 
doubt of his accepting it. I have perfect faith in his 
superior judgment! (Starts toward d. r., then turns 
back) Oh, by the way, mother wants you to make a 
pudding for dinner. She had to go down town. 

Pam. But I have all those peaches to preserve. 

Janice. Peaches? Preserved peaches! Why don't 
we buy them all preserved? 

Pam. Because this way is cheaper, especially when 
the peaches are given one, as ours were. 

Janice. Grace is up-stairs writing and does not want 
to be disturbed — that is unless she has mail from her 
publishers. 

Pam. I suppose she'll want to be called if Mr. Dav- 
enport comes. 

Janice. I don't think she expects him, but if he 
comes you'd better call her. (EXIT Janice d. r. Bell 
rings. Colonel's laugh heard. Pam hides box in 
table drawer, and then stands c) 



The Importance of Pam 25 

ENTER Colonel d. c. He is all smiles. 

Colonel. Ah, my dear! (Offering a cordial hand) 
Good-afternoon ! 

Pam (faintly). Good-afternoon, Colonel O'Connor! 
(He shakes her hand vigorously) 

Colonel (in a loud voice). I am glad to see you, my 
dear. (In a whisper) In fact you're the very one I've 
come to see! 

Pam (horrified). Oh! 

Colonel (pulling forth a chair). Sit down, my dear, 
or else I can 't and I 'm a bit fagged. 

Pam (backing away). Really, Colonel, I'm sorry, but 
it's quite impossible for me to entertain you this after- 
noon. 

Colonel. Tut, tut, sit down! (He sits) 

Pam (desperately). I've the dinner to get and a 
pudding to make. 

Colonel (taking out his watch). It's just three- 
thirty and you've all the time in the world. 

Pam (stoutly). Aunt Aggie is out. 

Colonel. You don't say! 

Pam. Perhaps if you hurried you'd catch her. 

Colonel. But I 've no notion of hurrying. I 'm quite 
satisfied. I didn 't come to see Aggie — no, I didn 't come 
to see Aggie at all. 

Pam. Mother's down town. Everyone's out except 
Grace and me and Grace is not to be disturbed. 

Colonel. Well, well, it couldn't suit me better, I'm 
sure. (Settles back) 

Pam (nervously). And I — I really ought to make 
that pudding, if you don't mind. 

Colonel (fuming). Pudding? Pudding? That 
ought not to take long. Make a hasty pudding! Ha- 
ha-ha! (Pam smiles faintly) Speaking of puddings, I 
want to congratulate you on the dinner you served last 
night. My child, it was a dinner for a gourmet. (Pam 
edges off) Come here! I want to talk to you about it. 
Damn that pudding! Come here, I say! (Pam comes 



26 The Importance of Pam 

forward reluctantly) Now sit down and take it 
easy. 

Pam. Really, I 

Colonel (in a voice to obey). Sit down! (Pam sits 
on the edge of a chair) Yes, my dear, I repeat it was a 
dinner for a gourmet. That salad — a gem, and the sauce, 
my dear Pam, the sauce was balm to the palate. Come 
now, talk to me. Where did you learn all this? 

Pam (miserably). I didn't learn it. It just comes 
natural, I guess. 

Colonel (delighted at the last remark). Ah! You 
are a genius. 

Pam (forlornly). A genius? I wish I was! 

Colonel. Who but a genius could turn out such 
dishes? My dear, you would do credit to any man's 
household. 

Pam (modestly). I'm sure you are very kind to say 
so. 

Colonel (in a whisper). I'll say more. In fact I've 
come to say more. 

Pam (alarmed). Oh! 

Colonel (leaning toward her). I've a delightful flat 
on Harlow Street, my dear, a flat that any woman would 
be proud of. — Pam, I've remained single long enough. 
I'm fifty-two next month. I consider it's time I mar- 
ried — Pam, my dear, you're sweet, you're pretty, you're 
clever. Pam — I — ■ — 

Pam (rising hastily). Oh, Colonel O'Connor, you 
aren't proposing to me, are you? 

Colonel. That's just what I am doing, my dear. 

Pam. Oh — (horrified) you mustn't! 

Colonel. Mustn 't ? Mustn 't ? 

Pam. That is — oh, how terrible ! What would Aunt 
Aggie say ? 

Colonel. I've gotten over minding what she would 
say, my dear. 

Pam. And she has gone to your home to keep you 
from this. 

Colonel. Gone to my home? Aggie? 



The Importance of Pam 27 

Pam. Yes — to keep you from — from — from propos- 
ing to me. She said you would and I laughed at 
her. 

Colonel. That's the trouble with your Aunt Aggie, 
my dear. She's too shrewd a woman. She sees right 
through a body. {Shaking his head) Now I like a 
woman that 's sweet and dependent ! 

Pam. Oh, Colonel, I'm neither sweet nor dependent, 
and you mustn't say such things to me. I can never 
marry you. In fact I think I shall never marry. Pa 
needs me ! 

Colonel. It's the first time I ever asked a woman to 
marry me and I think it will be the last. 

Pam. No, no, don't say that. Aren't you going to 
ask Aunt Aggie? 

Colonel (rising). No. I think I've done enough 
asking for one day. 

Pam (detaining him). Please ask her — for my sake. 
(Looks up at him beseechingly. Pause) 

Colonel. Well — well, of course. I'll think that 
over, my dear. 

Pam. But Aunt Aggie expects you to ask her. 

Colonel. Ugh, I don't know what right she's got to 
expect it. I'm sure I never gave her any encourage- 
ment. 

Pam. Really? They told me 

Colonel (fuming). Well, to be sure, I've been com- 
ing here a few years off and on, but it's to see the 
family. 

Pam. Are you sure 1 ? 

Colonel. Quite. 

Pam. Then I'm going to say I don't believe you. 

Colonel. Never kick a man that's down, my dear. 

Pam. But you're not down. Aunt Aggie's the nicest 
woman in the world and she's clever, too, and Aunt 
Aggie loves you. 

Colonel. Um, she has a poor way of showing it. 
(Begins pacing back and forth) 

Pam. That 's because you don 't propose. Ask her to 



28 The Importance of Pam 

marry you and see. You think I can cook an excellent 
supper. Why, you've never eaten one of Aunt Aggie's. 
(Front door slams) Here she comes! (Catching his 
arm to halt him) You will ask her, won't you? 

Colonel. Is it Aggie? 

Pam. Yes, it is, I'm sure, and I'll never tell a soul 
what's happened this afternoon if you'll ask her. (Miss 
Denby, unseen by either, appears at d. r.) 

Colonel. I — I 

Pam. Please! (Miss Denby emits one long scream. 
Colonel and Pam wheel about simidtaneously) Aunt 
Aggie ! 

Miss D. (going a). You little sorceress. I've caught 
you. Caught you at your clandestine meeting. I knew 
it. I knew it all along. (Turning to Colonel) As for 
you — words cannot express my contempt for you. 

Pam. Hush, Aunt Aggie! 

Colonel (to Pam). And you said she loved me! 

Pam. She does. Oh, don't you see? 

Colonel (to Miss Denby). Woman, you may be 
glad to know your niece was just now speaking in your 
behalf when you so slyly entered. And let me say also 
that your niece is a lady. 

Miss D. (half screaming) . She is a vampire. As for 
you, you need never darken these doors again. 

Colonel (taking his hat). Very well, madam. 
(With dignity) I bid you good day. (He starts to 

D. R.) 

Pam (running after him). Oh, Colonel, don't 

Miss D. Let him go. (Waving her hand) 

[EXIT Colonel d. r. 

Pam. Oh, what have you done? He was going to 
ask you to marry him ! 

Miss D. (in a whisper). What do you mean? 

Pam. That's what I mean. He was going to ask you 
to marry him. (For a second they stare at each other, 
then Miss Denby, as the realization sweeps over her, 
begins to weep. Pam looks at her with compassion, but 
offers no comfort) 



The Importance of Pam 29 

ENTER d. r. Hugh Davenport and Mr. Seddon. 

Mr. S. (going down a), Well, well, Pam, haven't 
got your apron off and I've brought a guest. (Hugh 
takes Pam's hand) 

Miss D. (with a final sob). If you'll excuse me, I'll 
go to my room. [EXIT d. c. 

Mr. S. (turning to watch her). What's the matter 
with Aggie? Doesn't her fall bonnet suit? 

Pam. Now, dad, you know she wouldn't cry for such 
a little thing as that. 

Mr. S. I've known her to cry for less. (Hugh 
laughs) 

Pam (to Hugh, who has been holding her hand since 
greeting). My hand, please, Mr. Davenport. 

Hugh. Oh, I beg your pardon, Miss Seddon. (He 
releases it) 

Mr. S. Sit down, Hugh, my boy, sit down. Pam, I'm 
ashamed of you. Where's your hospitality? 

Pam (indicating the davenport) . Please forgive me, 
Mr. Davenport. Now I'll say, do sit down and make 
yourself at home. 

Hugh. With pleasure, if you will, too. 

Pam. Oh, I — I can't. Like Aunt Aggie, I'll have to 
be excused. 

Mr. S. Tut-tut, no such thing. 

Pam. But, dad, I've a pudding to make. 

Mr. S. (firmly). No matter, we'll go without pud- 
ding to-night. I've brought Hugh here to be enter- 
tained and not a soul to entertain him. 

Pam. I'm sorry. 

Mr. S. Show you are then by staying with him. 
He's no use for an old codger like me. 

Hugh. I'm afraid you are coaxing your daughter to 
do something very disagreeable to her, and she's too 
polite to say so. 

Mr. S. No, no. Come, Pam, take off that ridiculous 
apron and sit down. I'm going down to have a look at 
the furnace. (Pam takes off her apron) 

[EXIT d. c. Mr. Seddon 



30 The Importance of Pam ' 

Hugh (stiffly). Please don't. 

Pam. Don't? 

Hugh. Take it off. It isn't ridiculous and I'm go- 
ing. 

Pam. Oh no, please don't. 

Hugh. Don't? 

Pam. Don't go. It isn't polite of you, and papa 
wouldn't like it. 

Hugh. But I am keeping you from your work. 

Pam. It's not your fault. It's papa's. He would 
have it so. (Sits on one end of davenport) Sit down. 

Hugh (sitting on other end). Thank you. 

Pam. Papa "thinks that I spend too much time in the 
kitchen, and perhaps I do — but really to cook for six 
people takes a lot of planning and work. 

Hugh (with deep appreciation). It must. 

Pam. Then there are the dishes to wash. 

Hugh. You do that, too ? 

Pam. Oh, yes. Of course Aunt Aggie offers to help, 
but Aunt Aggie — well, really, she isn't much of a 
help. 

Hugh. No, I should judge not. 

Pam. I really have quite a wonderful system and if 
it weren't for the pans I'd get on beautifully. 

Hugh. The pans? 

Pam. Yes, the cooking pans. Food sticks on them 
horribly and I can't seem to get it off. 

Hugh (all sympathy) . I see. 

Pam. There's Dutch Cleanser and wire dish cloths 
but they don't do when you have baked fish in a square 

pan. I've thought of something (Stops suddenly 

as if she had spoken what she had not meant to and 
rises) 

Hugh. You've thought of something? 

Pam. Oh, I didn't mean to say that. You — you 
won't tell, will you? 

Hugh. Cross my heart. 

Pam. I don't know what made me get so confidential 
to you. 



The Importance of Pam 31 

Hugh. I wish I might take that for an implied com- 
pliment. 

Pam (sitting). And I'm telling you all about kitch- 
ens and boring you to death. 

Hugh. Never! I like to hear about kitchens. I 
adore kitchens. (Settling back) 

Pam. Now you're just being polite. 

Hugh. No, really. (With enthusiasm) Tell me 
some more. What sort of pans do you use? Agate or 
aluminum? 

Pam. Well, you see most of our pans were bought 
years ago, so they're agate, but I prefer aluminum. 

Hugh. Rather compact, aren't they, and all that 
sort of thing? 

Pam. My — yes, you can get something like eight 
pans on one burner. There was a man at the Com- 
munity House demonstrating them and I was wild for 
one, but mother said it wouldn't save money at all. 
(With a sigh) Mother's like that. I suppose most old- 
fashioned housekeepers are. 

Hugh (sadly). I suppose so. 

Pam. Now I like things compact. I'd love a dear 
tiny kitchen in a dear tiny house — a nice white little 
kitchen where you can stand in the middle of the floor 
and reach everything you want to by stretching out 
your arms. 

Hugh (laughing). That would be jolly. 

Pam. A dear little house — white with green shutters 
and muslin curtains in the windows. Of course I Avant 
electricity and baths and all the conveniences 

Hugh. Of course. 

Pam. But I want fireplaces, too, and settles and high 
wainscoting. 

Hugh. Just my idea! 

Pam. Oh no! (He looks hurt) You want a palace 
with a huge kitchen and a hundred pantries! (Shuts 
her eyes better to visualize) A stone palace with long 
heavy glass windows and long rooms! (He looks at her 
aghast) A formal reception hall, a large dining-room, 



32 The Importance of Pam 

with silver and cut glass and heavy curtains ! A library 
with rows upon rows of dull-covered volumes! (With 
a look of disgust Hugh gets up and walks a few steps 
away. She does not notice he has gone) Wonderful 
tapestries and statues in bronze and marble. Rare 
pictures and choice pottery, that is what I have pictured 
for you. (She opens her eyes with a smile and finds he 
is gone) Oh! I haven 't offended you ? (Rising) You 
aren't angry? 

Hugh. No, I couldn't be angry with you, but I'm 
sorry, deucedly sorry you know me so little ! 

Pam (going over to him). But am I not right? 
Don't you want all that? 

Hugh. No ! 

Pam. I'm sorry then if I have misjudged you. 

Hugh. I'm sorry if you think me like that because 
I'm not a bit like it. (His good humor returning) 
Don't you want to sit down and talk and find out what 
I am like ? 

Pam (doubtfully). Do you think we'll agree? 

Hugh. Perfectly. (They sit) Now you accuse me 
of wanting a palace and in reality I hate a palace. I 
prefer — (Closing his eyes and repeating her own words) 
a dear little house — white with green shutters and mus- 
lin curtains in the windows. Of course I want electric- 
ity, baths and all the conveniences. 

Pam. Stop it ! You 're impudent ! 

Hugh. I'm never impudent, begging your pardon. 

Pam. You're just agreeing to be agreeable. Now 
I'm going to see if you really do agree with me. I'm 
going to ask your opinion before I state mine. 

Hugh. Go on. (He crosses his leg and settles back) 

Pam. You're most terribly confident. 

Hugh. Of course I am. You see I know you better 
than you know me. 

Pam. We shall see. Now! (Pause) Do you- — like 
the city or the country? 

Hugh (closing his eyes and putting back his head). 
The country! 



The Importance of Pam 33 

Pam. Um-um, so do I. Do you like meat or fish ? 

Hugh {with perfect confidence). Meat. 

Pam. Um-um, so do I. — Do you — like musical 
comedy or straight play ? 

Hugh (hesitant — he really likes musical comedy). 
Er — straight play. 

Pam (laughing). So do I, but I don't believe you do. 

Hugh. Go on. 

Pam. Do you like fireplaces and a good book? 

Hugh. I adore them. 

Pam (slyly). Do you like the new poetry? 

Hugh. No! 

Pam (laughing softly). I don't really, but you 
mustn't tell. 

Hugh. I won't. 

Pam. Do you prefer winter to summer? 

Hugh. Summer! (He is sure he is right. Pause, 
during which she looks at him half smiling. After a 
second he opens his eyes and interpreting the look on 
her face says promptly) Winter! 

Pam. Ah-ha, I caught you, sir. 

Hugh. No, no, really I wasn't thinking. I meant 
winter, really I did — sports and all that, you know. 

Pam. Why didn't you say so then? 

Hugh. Well, to tell the truth, I meant to, but sum- 
mer just slipped off my tongue. 

Pam (severely). How many times are you going to 
work that little stunt, sir? 

Hugh. Now I say you're unfair. Ask my landlady 
if you don't believe me. She knows what I like. She 
knows I prefer winter with its snow and ice and clear 
air and sparkling sunshine and 

Pam. Stop ! Stop ! I believe you. 

Hugh. Then you've got to admit we agree perfectly 
— even in all the details of life — now don't we? 

Pam. Yes, we do. (They regard each other. Pres- 
ently he gets up with a low whistle and walks to the 
other side of the room and looks at her there very 
solemnly. She does not take her eyes from him) 



34 The Importance of Pam 

Hugh (at last). Well? 

Pam. I was wondering what it matters if we do 
agree. 

Hugh (wheeling about). The devil! (He starts for 
d. r. and runs into Paul Travers ENTERING. After 
a second in which they glower at each other EXIT 
Hugh d. r. Pam looks from one to the other, gives a 
sigh for Hugh's departure, then turns to Travers) 

Pam. Janice isn't at home, Mr. Travers. (Hastily) 
In fact I don't think she will be at home until supper. 

Paul. So your dad just told me in the hall. But I 
didn't come to see Janice. 

Pam (weakly). Oh! 

Paul (jovially). I came to see you and I'm deucedly 
glad I did (Surveying her from head to foot) because I 
like you immensely in that gown. 

Pam (with a gesture of despair). Oh, this old thing. 
It 's a hundred years old. 

Paul. I want to paint your portrait, some day. 
(With a twinkle) You don't know what a favor I am 
bestowing upon you — some day it may hang in the 
Luxemburg. 

Pam (backing away). Oh dear, I don't believe I'd 
want a picture of myself in the Luxemburg. It would 
be so hard to live up to it. 

Paul. Not at all. Whatever you did then would be 
quite proper. 

Pam (fairly gasping). But I'm so ordinary I'd 
never do anything interesting. 

Paul. Who says you are ordinary? 

Pam. Everyone. It's a known fact. 

Paul. Pardon me. But I don't believe it. 

Pam. You don't know me. 

Paul (going toward her). But I want to very much. 

Pam (quickly). Is that why you want to paint my 
portrait? 

Paul. Partly. 

Pam. Then I don't think I had better have it 
painted. 



The Importance of Pam 35 

Paul. You detest me, don't you? Confess! You 
wouldn't talk to me at the party the other night. You 
refused to sit by me at dinner — in fact you have done 
everything to avoid me. 

Pam (thinking she has hurt him). I think you paint 
divinely. 

Paul. Is that all? 

Pam. And I think you 're very nice. 

Paul. Rats! (Looks at her solemnly) 

Pam. Please, Mr. Travers, go away. 

Paul. No I won't. (Sits in chair) 

Pam. I'm afraid you've been pampered. 

Paul. I'm used to getting what I want. I never 
was refused anything before. 

Pam. Heavens, I've always been refused what I 
wanted most. 

Paul. How is that when your sisters have had so 
much ? 

Pam. Oh, that's different. They are talented and 
I'm not. 

Paul (amused). Do you mind not being talented? 

Pam. No, except that it would be nice to make a 
fortune for dad but I suppose Janice and Grace will do 
that. They are very clever. 

Paul. You have great faith in your sisters. 

Pam (seriously) . Oh, yes, I have always been taught 
to have faith in them. 

Paul. And doesn't anyone have faith in you? 

Pam. They would be foolish if they did. 

Paul. Then I am foolish because I have loads of 
faith in you. Come. (Rising and going to her) Come, 
let me paint your portrait. (She shakes her head) Will 
you let me take you riding? (She shakes denial) Will 
you let me come to see you? 

Pam (in alarm). Oh no, that would never do. 
(Backing to d. c.) And really you mustn't ask such 
things of me. 

Paul (catching her hand impetuously) . But I love 
you! 



36 The Importance of Pam 

Pam. Love me! 

Paul (somewhat taken back). Why not? 

Pam. You can't. That is, you must have made a 
mistake. (With a wail) Oh, Mr. Travers, you haven't 
been drinking. 

Paul (dropping her hand). Jove! You are an ex- 
traordinary girl. 

Pam. Extraordinary? Oh, never! I'm very ordi- 
nary ! 

Paul (rubbing his head). Then I'm extraordinary. 
At any rate the situation is extraordinary ! 

Pam (near tears). But you made it — the situation I 
mean. 

Paul. Jove ! I don 't know whether I did or not. 

Pam (driven to it). Perhaps I have bewitched you. 

Paul. Eh? 

Pam (half weeping). Yes, yes, I do that sort of 
thing. I didn 't know it but Aunt Aggie says I do ! Oh, 
Mr. Travers, I can never marry you, never, never, 
never ! In fact, I don 't intend to marry ! 

ENTER d. r. Mrs. Seddon. She has just come home 
from down town. She looks at them both a mo- 
ment as if trying to' take in the situation, then 
goes down to Paul, her hand extended. 

Mrs. S. My dear Mr. Travers, I've caught you this 
time. 

Paul (startled). Er — how do you do, Mrs. Seddon? 
(Shake hands) 

Mrs. S. And you must stay to tea. Grace will ex- 
pect it. 

Paul. I 'm sorry, but really I 

Mrs. S. Now, I won't take no for an answer. Be- 
sides Pam has made a pudding! 

Pam. No, mother, I haven't. 

Mrs. S. Haven't made the pudding? Didn't Grace 
tell you? 

Pam. Yes. 



The Importance of Pam 37 

Mrs. S. Why, Pam ! 

Pam. To tell the truth, mother, I haven't had a 
minute to myself. I've been entertaining callers all the 
afternoon. (Mrs. Seddon looks from Paul to Pam sus- 
piciously) 

Paul (stiffly). Don't worry about the lack of a pud- 
ding on my account, Mrs. Seddon, because it's quite im- 
possible for me to stay. (Offering his hand) Good 
afternoon. (Nods to Pam and EXIT d. r.) 

Mrs. S. (after a dreadful pause). Pam, what have 
you been saying to him? 

Pam. Nothing much. He has been doing most of 
the talking. 

Mrs. S. He asked you to marry him? 

Pam. Yes, mother. 

Mrs. S. And you refused? 

Pam. Yes, mother. 

Mrs. S. You are mad. You have spoilt everything. 
He will never come here again. If you have no inten- 
tion of marrying, why must you steal your sister's beau 
and 

Pam (running to davenport and flinging herself upon 
it face down). Stop! Stop! I won't listen to you. I 
won't. (Kicks lustily and the cushions fly in all di- 
rections. EXIT Mrs. Seddon aghast, d. c. Pam quiets 
down and sobs quietly in a cushion) 

ENTER d. r. Janice weeping; she looks about the 
room, sees no one and goes quietly to window and 
conceals herself behind the curtain. After a second 
simultaneously both break into weeping so that 
neither one hears the other. ENTER Grace d. c, 
sobbing desperately, her returned poems in her 
hand. She sees and hears neither sister and flops 
into chair up stage. The sobs of all three mingle. 
ENTER d. r. Mr. Seddon, stops short at the sight. 

Mr. S. Good lord! (All three look up at once and 
discover each other) 



38 The Importance of Pam 

Pam (absolutely miserable). Oh, pa! (This is a 
cue) 

Janice (exploding). They have refused my picture! 
Grace. And my poems have come back! 
Pam. And I — I — I am a vampire! 

CURTAIN 



ACT III 

SCENE. — Same as Acts I and II. Time, two weeks 
later. The room is in an upheaval, bereft of its 
draperies, ornaments, etc., the furniture covered 
ready for removal. The rugs are rolled up and a 
steamer trunk is in the lower l. corner. DISCOV- 
ERED Mrs. Seddon, bejewelled, besilked and help- 
less in the middle of the floor, weeping quietly. At 
her l. stands Aggie also helpless and near to tears. 

Mrs. S. I — I don't think I can bear it. 

Miss D. Think of me ! 

Mrs. S. (with scorn). Think of you! As if you 

Miss D. At least you have your family, but I — 
(Dramatically) I have no one. There is one picture 
clearly before my mind. A poor old woman in a lone 
room with no one to love her. 

Mrs. S. (bitterly). Better go unloved than to be 
loved by a man who has no sense. 

Miss D. No sense? 

Mrs. S. (for once too upset to appreciate her own 
wit). Yes — no sense in more ways than one. (Door- 
bell rings. Sound of hurrying feet) 

Miss D. There goes Pam again. She does act 
strangely. If she were a daughter of mine I'd be wor- 
ried about her. 



The Importance of Pam 39 

Mrs. S. I 've no time to worry. The only thing I can 
think of is the foreclosure of the mortgage on our 
h-h-home ! 

Miss D. She actually guards the front 'door. You 
needn't tell me but what she expects something. 

Mrs. S. (sitting on the trunk). I wish I could be 
as hopeful. 

Miss D. So do I. (More to herself) I used to think 
he'd come back to me. The first week I was quite cer- 
tain of him but then when the second week came 

Mrs. S. For heaven's sake, Aggie, what are you talk- 
ing about? 

Miss D. (hurt). Why, Rachel — the Colonel, of 
course. It is a vital topic with me. 

Mrs. S. Evidently it isn't with him. 

Miss D. (getting a little excited). He— he was be- 
witched! She bewitched him as she has the others. 
(With terrible emphasis) Do you know Paul Travers 
proposed to her? 

Mrs. S. (tapping her foot). I do. 

Miss D. And I heard from outside — from outside, 
mind you, that he felt terribly when she refused him. 

Mrs. S. And I thought all the time she was only a 
simple little girl. 

Miss D. She is complex — very complex, and she is 
deep, very deep. 

Mrs. S. She has ruined her sister's life. Janice will 
never be the same. 

Miss D. (dramatically). She has ruined mine. Even 
although he comes to me penitent I shall feel he pre- 
ferred her. 

Mrs. S. It is very evident. 

Miss D. And I did love him. (Weeps a little) 

Mrs. S. (hating to say it). I — I have given up all 
hopes I had in Hugh. 

Miss D. (fairly shrieking). Hugh! 

Mrs. S. He seems to avoid Grace. 

Miss D. (in a terrible voice). He loves her! 

Mrs. S. (gasping). Pam? 



40 The Importance of Pam 

Miss D. Of course. Oh, is it possible you, her own 
mother, are so blind? 

Mrs. S. (running to Aggie). You don't mean that 
Hugh (Breathless) 

Miss D. Loves her? That's just what I mean. 

Mrs S. (smiling). Oh, Aggie! (With sudden en- 
lightenment) Then — why are we moving — giving up 
everything? Does Charles know of this? 

Miss D. (coldly). You don't for one minute suppose 
she'll accept him, do you? Ah, Rachel, I know your 
own daughter better than you. She is a siren. She 
entices them only to make them suffer. 

Mrs. S. (sitting beside Aggie). Oh! 

Miss D. She will never marry him. Hasn't she said 
herself she will never marry? What better proof do 
you want? 

Mrs. S. (weeping). Oh, that I should be punished 
with such a daughter! 

Miss D. You have lost Hugh and his millions as I 
have lost the Colonel. He will never go back to Grace 
■ — never — no more than the Colonel will come back to 
me. You — in fact we all, except Charles, thought she 
was unimportant but let me tell you we've learned, all 
of us, a tremendous lesson. 

Mrs. S. (sighing). The lesson of the ugly duckling. 

Miss D. I'm only expecting her to bring us fame 
and fortune now. 

Mrs. S. No, Aggie, Pam can never do that. 

Miss D. (ready to believe anything of her). I'm not 
so sure. 

Mrs. S. If only some one would bring us money. 
(She rises) I — I wouldn't feel so bad now if they 
didn't bring fame. 

Miss D. (dolefully). Where do we sleep to-night? 

Mrs. S. You and I are to stay at the Lothrops'. The 
girls and Charles will sleep at home. (Suddenly) 
Aggie, do you think I shall be able to stand it? 

Miss D. You must. 

Mrs. S. (at the door). But it is so dreadful to be 



The Importance of Pam 41 

disappointed in one 's husband and children. I was con- 
fident of Janice and Grace. 

Miss D. Poor dears — they are awfully broken up. 

ENTER d. c. Mr. Seddon. 

Mr. S. You had better go up, Rachel. The moving 
van has come. 

Mrs. S. Has it come? (Gives a hysterical cry and 
EXIT d. r., running and weeping. For a second Mr. 
Seddon stands helpless regarding Aggie. Aggie stares 
hack at him, then suddenly sobs wildly and EXIT d. r. 
Door-bell rings. Sound of hurrying feet. Pam runs 
in d. c. and EXIT quickly d. r.) 

Mr. S. (bewildered). Pam? (But she has gone) 

ENTER d. c. Janice. 

Janice (stiffly). I suppose I may keep the secretary 
you gave me. 

Mr. S. Eh? Your secretary? Oh yes, yes, my dear, 
of course, of course. 

Janice. Thanks awfully. (Turns to go) 

Mr. S. Janice. 

Janice (turning). Yes? 

Mr. S. It makes me feel bad to see you take things 
in this manner. After all, the outlook is not so bad for 
you and Grace. 

Janice. Are you being sarcastic? 

Mr. S. Oh no, my dear, not at all. You see it's this 
way. You've had a bit of a shock, but you'll thank your 
stars some day that you had it. It's going to make you 
a lot wiser and far more beloved. 

Janice (coldly). Is that all you have to say? 

Mr. S. Not quite. You and Grace both needed it 
and you'll see the truth of my words in the years to 
come. Not now, of course. I wouldn't expect you to 
now. It is life, my dear. "We all need shocks now and 
then, some more than others, and after all, the unfor- 
tunate ones are those who don't get jostled. That's all. 
(She goes to d. c.) 



42 The Importance of Pam 

ENTER d. r. Colonel, hat in hand. He looks a bit 

spent. 

Colonel (in a whisper) . Charles 

Mr. S. (turning). My god, man — you. I wasn't ex- 
pecting you. 

Colonel (still whispering). Do you think she'll see 
me? 

Mr. S. She? 

Colonel. Aggie ? 

Mr. S. Jove, man, she 's mad to see you. 

Colonel. What ? 

Mr. S. She's mad to see you. 

Colonel (sinking on a chair). I've missed her ter- 
ribly — terrible. 

Mr. S. Shall I call her? 

Colonel. Wait. (Pause) Charles, I'm sorry, 
deucedly sorry about (Waving his hands to include the 
room) this! I've a little money, surplus, you know. Is 
there anything I can do for you? 

Mr. S. (with a twinkle). Yes — take Aggie off my 
hands. [EXIT d. c. Seddon 

(Colonel paces the floor, chuckling.) 
ENTER d. r. Miss Denby. 

Miss D. (very dignified). You sent for me? (Plainly 
she intends to have a scene) 

Colonel (looking up and smiling). I did, Aggie. 

Miss D. I am here. 

Colonel. Er — er yes, you are here and so am I. 

Miss D. Well? 

Colonel. We are both here. 

Miss D. Yes. 

Colonel. Alone. 

Miss D. So I observe. 

Colonel. We haven't been alone before in this 
house — ever. 

Miss D. Perhaps not. 

Colonel. We are not likely to be alone very long. 



The Importance of Pam 43 

Miss D. Well? 

Colonel (humbly). One should make the most of 
one 's opportunities. 

Miss D. (triumphant). Ah! 

Colonel (moving a step nearer). Aggie, will you 
marry me? I've a nice little flat on Harlow Street, a 
modern convenient little flat that needs a fine little 
woman like you, Aggie. 

Miss D. (now sure of him). Sir, I think you have an 
apology to make to me first, after the way you've acted. 

Colonel (all humbleness). Yes, Aggie. 

Miss D. (rubbing it in). Aren't you ashamed of 
yourself ? 

Colonel. Yes. 

Miss D. Don't you think you acted like a ridiculous 
boy? 

Colonel. Yes. 

Miss D. Then I want you to formally admit it and 
ask my pardon. 

Colonel. Of course, Aggie. 

Miss D. My pardon on your knees. (Getting bold, 
but she has asked too much) 

Colonel (aghast). On my knees? (He thinks, too, 
of his rheumatic joints) 

Miss D. (unflinching) . On your knees. 

Colonel. But you have no mercy, Aggie. Think of 
my rheumatism. 

Miss D. (encouraged to dangerous depths by his hum- 
bleness). On your knees. 

Colonel. She might see me. 

Miss D. Who? 

Colonel. Anyone. (Suddenly) No, I will not 
submit to such foolishness, I — a late Colonel of Hussars ! 
(He starts toward d. r.) 

Miss D. (with misgivings). Where are you going? 

Colonel (in a voice that is final). To my flat in 
Harlow Street. (At this Aggie bursts into hysterical 
sobbing) For heaven's sake, woman! (He goes back 
to her) 



44 The Importance of Pam 

Miss D. I am so unhappy — no — h-home, no f -friends 
— just a lonely old woman. 

Colonel. Aggie, calm yourself. Have I not offered 
you a home? 

Miss D. Yes. 

Colonel (getting eloquent). And myself as a hus- 
band? 

Miss D. Y-yes. 

Colonel. And half of my worldly goods? 

Miss D. (nodding, but still wailing). Yes, oh yes. 

Colonel. Then (Shaking her) What is it? 

Miss D. B-but you won't get down on your knees 
for me? 

Colonel. Well, of all things! (She wails) There, 
there, hush. (After looking about slyly he gets down 
on his knees very carefully) I suppose to please you, 
but I feel like a damn fool. Ugh. 

Miss D. (peeks from behind her handkerchief and sees 
Mm, and immediately her whole face lights up). Oh, 
how wonderful! (Hand on her heart, she closes her 
eyes for a secoyid) I always wondered what it felt like 
to have a man on his knees before me. 

Colonel. And I always wondered what it felt like 
to be there. Now I know, and, damn it, I don't want to 
feel like it again. (He staggers up) 

Miss D. Oh, you dear, it was wonderful. Of course 
I forgive you everything. 

Colonel (rubbing his knee joints). I should think 
you might. 

ENTER d. c. Mrs. Seddon. 

Mrs. S. Oh, here you are. For goodness' sakes go 
up-stairs and tell the man what's to go from your room 
to-day and what to-morrow. 

Miss D. (coming to earth). Oh. 

Mrs. S. Do you know where we're going? 

Miss D. (coyly). I know where I'm going. 

Colonel. Ahem. 



The Importance of Pam 45 

Miss D. (starting to d. a). You tell her, Luke dear. 

[EXIT d. c. 

Mrs. S. (to Colonel). You haven't? 

Colonel. I have, and she's consented to share my 
Harlow Street flat. 

Mrs. S. (flopping on nearest chair). Oh, I'm so re- 
lieved. I couldn't imagine where we'd put all her 
trinkets and ornaments in our new place. It's very 
small, you know. 

Colonel. Yes, it must have worried you consider- 
ably. 

Mrs. S. It did. (Rising and going to him) Do 
you know I think it's very sweet of you to take Aggie, 
because really she is very trying — laughs in the wrong 
place, you know, and all that. Of course, I know I 
oughtn't to tell tales, but really I did want you to know 
how deeply I appreciate the favor you are bestowing 
upon us. 

Colonel. It's very kind of you to say so. 

Mrs. S. And I want you to come to see us as always. 
Of course (whimpering) it won't be the same. We — 
we have been terribly reduced in circumstances, but I 
suppose I shall have to make the best of it. Poor Janice 
and Grace, it's for them I feel most deeply. / can 
suffer, but to see them. Oh, it is too horrible. You 
understand. 

Colonel. Yes, I understand. But you must hope 
for the best. One can never tell. The unexpected 
often happens. (Door-bell ?'ings) 

Mrs. S. (jumping) . Oh, my nerves are on edge. 

ENTER d. c. Pam and runs off d. r. 

Colonel. Well, well, evidently somebody expects 
something. 

Mrs. S. Pam has been like that for a week now. 

Colonel. But what .is it? What's the matter with 
her? 

Mrs. S. I don't know. None of us know. She sits 
as if in a trance and when the bell rings that 's the way 



46 The Importance of Pam 

she acts. No one can stop her. Aggie attempted to 
and, well, she never attempted to again. (With a sigh) 
I suppose we're all a little upset. You couldn't won- 
der. 

ENTER d. r. Pam, followed by Hugh. 

Hugh. How do you do, Mrs. Seddon? (Nods to 
Colonel) 

Mrs. S. (offering a limp hand). Oh, Mr. Davenport, 
I'm not myself. We — none of us are ourselves. 

Hugh. No? 

Mrs. S. It's a terrible strain. 

Hugh (with a laugh). It is. I remember when our 
family moved from Canyon Street to the Avenue, we 
were all in. 

Mrs. S. Ah, my boy, but you were moving into a 
grand new house and we — we — oh, I don't think I can 
bear it. 

Pam. Mother. 

Mrs. S. (weeping softly). They all speak cross to 
me. They don't realize I've always had everything, 
and I don 't see how I 'm going to get on without it. 

Pam (distressed and horrified). Please, mother. 

Mrs. S. Oh, dear me, I'll go out; I see I displease 
you. [EXIT d. c. 

Colonel (following). There, there, Mrs. Seddon, 
weep a bit on my shoulder. It will do you good. 

Miss D. (voice from ivithout). That's a pretty 
speech for a newly engaged man to make. She'll do 
nothing of the kind. (Hugh hears and wants to laugh, 
but Pam does not move a muscle and he refrains) 

Pam (quietly). I'm sure you can say what you've 
come to say right here; that is if you really intend to 
say it. 

Hugh (wistfully). I do, but I wish the atmosphere 
were a bit more conducive. 

Pam. I 'm sorry. 

Hugh. That's final? You won't make it better? 



The Importance of Pam 47 

Pam. Do you think I can create an atmosphere? 

Hugh. Where I am concerned — yes. 

Pam. What do you want me to do ? 

Hugh. Be nice to me — please. 

Pam. But if I'm nice to you, you'll (She stops 

suddenly) 

Hugh. I'll what? 

Pam. Propose to me, and I don't want you to do 
that. 

Hugh. Why? 

Pam. Because I should hate to refuse you anything. 

Hugh (eagerly). Really? You feel that way to- 
ward me ? 

Pam (quickly). No — no, I say I should hate to, but I 
would. 

Hugh (sitting on the edge of the table). But I'm not 
going to take no for an answer. 

Pam. Oh, yes you are. 

Hugh. Then I'm not going to ask the question. 

Pam. Just as you like. (Pause, during which he re- 
gards her wistfully) 

Hugh. I'd do anything for you. I wish you'd let 
me prove it. 

Pam. I can't. There's no use asking, and I — I wish 
you'd go away. 

Hugh (rising). Of course, if you wish it. 

Pam (a sob in her voice). I do. (Hugh turns to- 
ward d. r. ) Hugh ! 

Hugh (turning quickly). Yes? 

Pam. If — if I should ever want you, would you come 
to me? 

Hugh. From the ends of the earth, Pam. 

Pam. I — I might want you to-night. And I — I 
might never want you. 

Hugh. I don't understand. 

Pam. You will if I want you, and if I don't it 
doesn't matter. If I want you, I'll put a signal in the 
middle window there. (Pointing) 

Hugh. A signal? 



48 The Importance of Pam 

Pam. Yes — I can't telephone, but I'll put something 
in that window that you'll surely see. {Offering her 
hand) Good-bye. (Wistfully) 

Hugh. Good-bye. (He shakes her hand quickly and 
EXIT d. R. Pam stands a moment looking after him) 

ENTER d. c. Grace. 

Grace. Has he gone? 

Pam (starting). Yes. Did you want to see him? 

Grace. Why should I? He doesn't want to see me.. 

Pam (with a little sob). Grace, I love him. 

Grace. He loves you. Why don't you marry him? 

Pam. Simply because he has so much money and we 
have none. (Pause) Are you angry with me for lov- 
ing him? 

Grace. No, that's what I came to tell you. I was 
afraid you would think so. I've been thinking over a 
lot of things this past week. I'm — I'm going to be dif- 
ferent. 

Pam (duly amazed). Grace. 

Grace. I'm going to work, and, really, I feel lots 
happier now that I've made up my mind. As father 
told Janice, this shock will do us good. 

Pam. And what does Janice think? 

Grace. She doesn't agree with him, of course, but 
she will some day. Janice is all right. It would be 

nice to have money, but after all (Door-bell rings. 

Pam listens as if petrified, then runs off d. r.) For 
heaven 's sake 

ENTER d. c. Mr. Seddon in his shirt sleeves, hammer 
in one hand. 

Mr. S. # Can't someone muffle that bell? Grace, go 
up-stairs to your mother. She's having hysterics about 
a piece of furniture in the den. 

[EXIT d. c. Grace quickly 



The Importance of Pam 49 

ENTER D. r. Pam. She carries an opened telegram 
and is muck excited. 

Pam (running to her father). Pa! Pa! 

Mr. S. (dropping the hammer). What is it, my 
dear? 

Pam. Pa! (Looks up into his face and tries to 
speak, but words fail her. Puts her head on his shoul- 
der and weeps) 

Mr. S. (who has but one interpretation for tears). 
There — there — dear, what have those dreadful men 
done? It's a shame. The whole business is a rotten 
shame. 

Pam (struggling). No — no — no, it isn't that. You 
don't understand. Here (Passing him the telegram) 
Read this. 

Mr. S. (reading). We accept your offer. The Won- 
der Rag is just what you recommend it to be. (He 
looks puzzled) 

Pam (bursting into laughter). Don't you see? I've 
brought you fame and fortune and you thought I didn 't 
have a spark of talent. 

Mr. S. The Wonder Rag? 

Pam. Yes — yes, I invented it. It's made of cloth 
and wire. It does the work of powders and elbow 
grease combined. It's — it's just what its name implies 
— for cleansing pans, you know ! 

Mr. S. But— but 

Pam. Oh, pa, I never knew you to be stupid before. 
Don't you see I've sold it to a big concern. (Indicating 
telegram ) Look. 

Mr. S. (reading). Cruthers and Cruthers! 

Pam. They've bought my Wonder Rag, idea and all. 
They've accepted my offer. (In a great whisper) It 
was $50,000 down and royalties. 

Mr. S. What ! ! ! 

Pam. Yes — yes, we are rich, aren't we? At least we 
will be. We won't have to move. We can stay here. 
{Very excited) Janice and Grace can study 



50 The Importance of Pam 

Mr. S. Come here, let me look at you. 

Pam (pulling him to d. c). I want to tell them. 
Come. 

Mr. S. (catching her arm and resisting). I want to 
look at you. By Jove ! I can 't believe my ears. Little 
Pam! (She struggles) 

Pam (pulling). Come. You've all the rest of your 
life to look at me. Come. 

Mr. S. (submitting). But how did you happen 

Pam (EXIT d. c. with him). To invent it? Purely 
vanity, pa. I wanted to save my hands. (The sound 
of their feet hurrying over the stairs, then the opening 
of a door and murmurs of voices. At last very loud and 
distinct Miss Denby's voice is heard) 

Miss D. (off stage). You blessed child. I always 
knew you were a wonder. 

Mrs. S. (off stage). Pam dear, come and kiss your 
mother. You are a Denby through and through. 

Mr. S. (off stage). Don't you believe it, Pam. 
You're a Seddon. You take after your great grand- 
father Seddon who invented 

Mrs. S. (off stage). He never invented a thing. If 
she's a Seddon, she's the brightest one I ever saw! 
(Sound of a door closing softly, and silence. Presently 
ENTER d. c. Pam. She surveys the room. It is shad- 
owy. The sun has set. She regards the window a mo- 
ment, then EXITS d. r. and RE-ENTERS with a huge 
lighted lantern, which she places carefully in the middle 
window, then sits down to wait for Hugh) 



CURTAIN 



NEW PLAYS 



BASHFUL MR. BOBBS PRICE 25 CENTS 

A Farce-comedy in 3 acts, by Walter Ben Hare. 4 males, 7 females. 1 
interior. Time, 2 l / 2 hours. The Bashful Mr. Bobbs, has to shoulder the 
blame for his cousin's (Marston Bobbs) escapades. Introduces an excellent 
comedy rube character, a comical country landlady, a movie actress, her 
French maid and other well contrasted characters. The dialogue is bright 
and snappy. 

WHOSE WIDOW? PRICE 25 CENTS 

A comedy in 1 act, by H. C. Clifford. 5 males, 4 females. 1 interior. 
Plays 50 minutes. Marcella, a young Western girl, arrives at her aunt's 
wearing a widow's gown, much to everyone's surprise. She assumes the 
name of Mrs. Loney and is soon made acquainted with persons of that 
name, presumably relatives of her alleged husband. After many comical 
incidents Marcella finds her match. Recommended for schools. 

REGULAR GIRLS PRICE 25 CENTS 

A patriotic musical entertainment in 1 scene, by M. O. Wallace, for 7 
principal girls and as many Sailor Boys (girls), Military Girls, Band Girls 
as are available. Time, about 1 hour. Gives broad scope for vocal and 
instrumental talent. 

ONE HUNDRED PER CENT. AMERICAN 

PRICE 25 CENTS 

A patriotic comedy in 1 act, by D. D. Calhoun, for 15 or 13 girls. 1 
interior. Time, 1 l A hours. Tells how the girls of a fashionable school do 
work for "the Ca ise." Introduces country girl, an Irish detective and six 
scholars of individual character types. Recommended for schools. 

PHARAOH'S KNOB PRICE 25 CENTS 

A comedy in 1 act, by E. J. Craine. 1 male, 12 females. 1 interior. 
Time, 1 hour. Lieut. Kingston in love with Elizabeth is repulsed by her 
mother who does not approve of penniless soldiers. He finds an iridescent 
knob and through its supposed charm he is successful in his suit. 

ALICE'S BLIGHTED PROFESSION PRICE 25 CENTS 

A sketch in 1 act, by H. C. Clifford, for 6 or 8 girls. 1 interior. Time, 
about 50 minutes. Alice, a clientless young lawyer seeking a stenographer, 
has several applicants but none gives satisfaction. It eventually develops 
that all the applicants were disguised school friends of Alice's and adopted 
this method to induce her to give up the profession. Recommended for 
schools. 

MADAME G. WHILIKENS' BEAUTY PARLOR 

PRICE 25 CENTS 

An entertainment in 2 acts, by V. G. Brown, for 12 or less female 
characters. 1 interior. Time, if played straight, about 50 minutes. In- 
troducing among others, French, Irish, colored, rube characters, two sales- 
ladies, all strongly contrasted, thus- giving scope for individuality. 

HUSBAND ON SALARY, A PRICE 25 CENTS 

A farce in 3 acts, by J. H. Slater. 3 males, 3 females. 2 interiors. 

Time, 2 hours. Alice Morley who was disappointed in love is determined 

to revenge herself upon the male sex How it works out is cleverly told 
in this bright farce. Ful! oi actiori. 



COMEDIES AND DRAMAS 

JOSIAH'S COURTSHIP PRICE 25 CENTS 

Comedy in 4 acts, by H. C. Dale. 7 males, 4 females. Easily staged. 
Time, 2 hours. Recommended to dramatic clubs in want of something 
with good comedy feature and forceful but not too heavy straight business. 

THE LAST CHANCE PRICE 25 CENTS 

Comedy in 2 acts, by A. E. Bailey. 2 males, 12 females. 1 interior. 
Time, 1J4 hours. Full of action, bright and witty dialogue, incidentally 
introducing a burlesque on '"Lord Ullin's Daughter." For schools and 
colleges. 

A LEGAL PUZZLE PRICE 25 CENTS 

Farce comedy in 3 acts, by W. A. Tremayne. 7 males, S females. 3 
interiors. Time, 2J^ hours. This play can be highly recommended, the 
scenes are easy, the dialogue brisk and snappy, and the action rapid. 

LODGERS TAKEN IN PRICE 25 CENTS 

Comedy in 3 acts, by L. C. Tees. 6 males, 4 females. 1 interior. Time, 
2y 2 hours._ A husband witha strong case of the "green-eyed monster" 
taking a trip abroad, places his home in charge of a ne'er-do-well nephew. 
The nephew refits the rooms to tenants, whose diversified characters pre- 
sent great opportunity for comedy acting. This is adapted from the same 
work upon which Win. Gillette's famous "All the Comforts of Home" is 
based. 

MISTRESS OF ST. IVES PRICE 25 CENTS 

Drama of the new South in 3 acts, by G. V. May. 7 males, 5 females. 

1 interior. Time, 2 l /i hours. The cast has a typical southern planter of 
olden times, his two daughters, a -peppery southern major, a lawyer from 
the North, a comical colored valet, etc., etc. 

NEVER AGAIN PRICE 25 CENTS 

Farce in 3 acts, by A. E. Wills. 7 males, 5 females. 1 interior. Time, 
2% hours. Fletcher, a crabbed husband, refuses a reference to Dora, a 
discharged maid. In Marie, the new maid, he discovers an attractive dancer 
to whom he had been very attentive at a recent ball; the schemes devised 
by the two maids to punish Fletcher lead to many amusing complications 
and to an unusual climax. 

PETER PIPER'S TROUBLES PRICE 25 CENTS 

Comedy in 4 acts, by J. H. Slater. 5 males, 3 females. 2 interiors. 
Time, 2% hours. The troubles are caused largely by his desire to oblige 
his friends and are of a social, financial and business variety, all of which 
are finally overcome. 

PHYLLIS'S INHERITANCE PRICE 25 CENTS 

Comedy in 3 acts, by F. H. Bernard. 6 males, 9 females. 1 interior, 1 
exterior. Time, 2 hours. Phyllis, Philip's wife, is to inherit a fortune from 
an East Indian uncle, provided she marries his adopted son, who is about 
to visit her. Two men call with introductory letters, which she does not 
read, supposing each in turn to be the adopted son. 

A RUNAWAY COUPLE PRICE 25 CENTS 

Farce in 2 acts, by W. A. Tremayne. 4 males, 4 females. 1 interior. 
Time, 2 hours. A married man of nervous temperament, temporarily in 
charge of an eloping lady, while the husband-to-be is procuring the license, 
is himself accused of having run away with her. The. arrival of the absent 
lover relieves the situation and leads to an unusually effective climax. 

TOO MANY HUSBANDS PRICE 25 CENTS 

Farce in 2 acts, by A. E. Wills. 8 males, 4 females. 1 interior. Time, 

2 hours. The action is continuous, dialogue snappy and climax so unex- 
pected, that this farce can be, recommended, a? one of the most laughabl* * 



PLAYS WE RECOMMEND 

Fifteen Cents Each (Postage, 1 Cent Extra) 

Unless Otherwise Mentioned 



Arabian Nights 
Bundle of Matches (27c.) 
Crawford's Claim (27c.) 
Her Ladyship's Niece (27c.) 
Just for Fun (27c.) 

Men, Maids, Matchmakers 
Our Hoys 
Puzzled Detective- 
Three Hats 
Timothy Delano's 

Courtship 
Up-to-Date Anne 
White Shawl (27c.) 

Fleeing Flyer 
From Punkin' Ridge 
Handy Solomon 
Hoosier School 
Kiss in the Dark 
Larry 
Love Birds' Matrimonial 

Agency 
Married Lovers 
Ma's New Boarders (27c.) 
Mrs. Forester's Crusade 
New Pastor 
Relations 

Standing Room Only 
Stormy Night 
Surprises (27c.) 

Tangles (27c.) 

Little Rogue Next Door 
'Till Three P. M. 
Train to Mauro 
When Women Rule 
Won by a Kodak 
April Fools 
Fun in a Schoolroom 
Little Red Mare 
Manager's Trials 
Medica 

Mischievous Bob 
Cheerful Companion 
Dolly's Double 
Drifted Apart 
Gentle Touch 
John's Emmy 
Point of View 
Professor's Truant Glove 
Belles of Blackville 
Sweet Family (27c.) 

Conspirators (27c.) 

A Day and a Night (27c.) 
Gertrude Mason, M.D. (27c.) 
In Other People's Shoes 
Maidens All Forlorn (27c.) 
Mary Ann 

Romance of Phyllis (27c.) 
Fuss vs. Feathers 
Tanglefoot vs. Peruna 
Great Libel Case 



Acts Males Females Time 



Farce 


3 


4 


5 


2y 4 h 


Comedy 


2 


1 


7 


iy 2 h 


Drama 


8 


9 


8 


2y*h 


Comedy 


4 


4 


4 


iy 2 h 


" 


8 


2 


4 


2h 


" (27c.) 


8 


4 


4 


2h 


" 


8 


6 


4 


2h 


Farce 


8 


6 


8 


lh 



Comedy 
Farce 



Drama 
Farce 



Comedy 
Farce 

Sketch 

Farce 

Comedy 

Farce 



Comedy 
Farce 



Comedy 
Dialogue 



Minstrel 

Entertainment 

Comedy 

Farce 
Comedy 



Mock Trial 



8 

4 

4 

4 

4 

2 

2 

1 

1 

1 

8 

2 

8 

1 

1 

4 

8 





• 







2 

1 

1 

1 

1 

1 

1 
any no. 

8 
12 
10 

7 

8 

6 

5 

4 

4 
18 





2h 

lh 
lh 

.iy 2 h 
iy 4 h 
iy 4 h 

20m 
30m 
45m 
45m 

80m 

45m 

80m 

80m 

80m 

20m 

35m 

40m 

30m 

30m 

40m 

20m 

15m 

15m 

50m 

30m 

40m 

85m 

45m 

85m 

40m 

25m 

20m 

80m 

80m 

20m 

20m 

20m 

2h 

lh 

40m 

lh 

80m 

50m 

iy 4 h 

30m 

iy 4 h 

80m 

iy 2 h 

2h 



LIBRARY OF CONGRESS 




WWWW-- 



015 940 102 9 



PLAYS WE RECOMMEND 

For Schools and Colleges 



Twenty-five cents (Postage 2 cents extra) 

Acts Males Females Time 

Irish Eden 

Kidnapped Freshman 

Matrimonial Tiff 

Little Savage 

Lodgers Taken In 

Miss Mosher of Colorado 

Miss Neptune 

My Uncle from India 

Never Again 

New England Folks 

Next Door 

Oak Farm 

Riddles 

Rosebrook Farm 

Stubb'orn Motor Car 

Too Many Husbands 

When a Man's Single 

Where the Lane Turned 

After the Honeymoon 

Biscuits and Bills 

Chance at Midnight 

Conquest of Helen 

The Coward 

Sheriff of Tuckahoe 

Bashful Mr. Bobbs 

Whose Widow 

Alice's Blighted Profes- 
sion 

Regular Girls 

100% American 

Parlor Patriots 

Fads and Fancies 

Mr. Loring's Aunts 

My Son Arthur 

Sewing Circle Meets 

Every Senior 

Bride and Groom 

Last Chance 

Bubbles 

Hurricane Wooing 

Peggy's Predicament 

Found in a Closet 

Slacker ( ?) for the Cause 

Baby Scott 

Billy's Bungalow 

College Chums 

Delegates from Denver 

Football Romance 

Held for Postage 

In the Absence of Susan 

Transaction in Stocks 

Aunt Dinah's Quilting 
Party 

Bachelor Maids' Reunion 

In the Ferry House 

Rustic Minstrel Show 

Ye Village Skewl of Long 
Ago 

Rainbow Kimona 

Rosemary 

Pharaoh's Knob 



Comedy 


3 


8 


6 


2h 


Farce 


S 


12 


4 


2y 4 h 


Farce 


1 


2 


1 


lh 


Comedy 


3 


4 


4 


2h 


" 


3 


6 


4 


2i/ 2 h 


" 


4 


5 


3 


2h 


" 


2 


3 


8 


H4h 


«' 


4 


13 


4 


2y*h 


Farce 


3 


7 


6 


2h 


Drama 


3 


8 


4 


2%h 


Comedy 


3 


5 


4 


2h 


Comedy 


3 


7 


4 


2y 2 h 


" 


3 


3 


3 


IVih 


" 


3 


6 


9 


l%h 


" 


3 


7 


4 


2i/.h 


Farce 


2 


8 


4 


2h 


Comedy 


3 


4 


4 


2h 


" 




7 


5 


2h 


Farce 




2 


3 


50m 


Comedy 




3 


1 


iyih 


Drama 




2 


1 


25m 


Comedy 




3 


2 


lh 


Drama 




5 


2 


30m 


Western Sk. 




3 


1 


lh 


Comedy 




4 


7 


2%h 


" 




5 


4 


50m 


Sketch 







8 


50m 


Entertainment 







any no. 


lh 


Comedy 







15 


iy 2 h 


" 







12 


lh 


Sketch 







17 


lh 


Comedy 







13 


lJ4 h 


" 




2 


8 


%h 


Entertainment 







10 


iy*h 


Morality play 







8 


40m 


Farce 


3 


5 


5 


2y 4 h 


Comedy 


2 


2 


12 


l%h 


" 


3 


4 


3 


lyjh 


" 


3 


4 


3 


iyah 


" 


1 





5 


y 2 h 


" 


1 


1 


3 


20m 


Sketch 


1 


3 


1 


20m 


Farce 


3 


5 


4 


2y 4 h 


Comedy 


3 


5 


4 


2h 


" 


3 


9 


3 


2h 


Farce 


2 


3 


10 


%h 


Comedy 


4 


9 


4 


2y 2 h 


Farce 


2 


4 


3 


i%h 


" 


3 


4 


6 


iy 2 h 


Comedy 


1 


4 


1 


45m 


Entertainment 


1 


5 


11 


2h 


« 


1 


2 


any no. 


iy 2 h 


" 


1 


15 


11 


iy 2 h 


" 


1 


any no 


any no. 


iy 2 h 


«• 


2 


any no 


any no. 


2h 


" 


2 





9 


iy 2 h 


Comedy 


4 





14 


iy 2 h 


" 


1 


1 


12 


lh 



